September 18, 2011
It has just been one of those days where nothing seems to go right. School has been stressing me out and I feel like I just do not have the energy or motivation to deal with it. My classes are very needy this semester, with something due every class and high maintenance professors who appear to be very hard to please… sigh, senioritis much??
Nick has an exam tomorrow in bioethics. He’s been studying his butt off all day for it and I am sure he is going to kick butt. As a result of said exam however, I did not get to chat with him in person much today. Normally, I handle these days really well, and I am understanding, all is good, it’s whatever. He is afterall in medical school!
Today, unfortunately that was not the case. I got snippy with him. Yes, even though I say over and over that I cherish the little time I have with him and appreciate it and all that jazz… like I said, today, has not been my day. I think it is the perfect example of just having too much. He should not be the one I take it out on, but ladies, some things never change… even with him in Grenada I can still get snippy with him because I grumpy. To make it worse, I want him to be here and make it better but he isn’t. Pathetic really. Again, it has been that sort of day.
So amidst my freakout and after huffing and puffing and having Skype stop working so I didn’t even get a goodbye (reason 85942084 why I hate being upset with him and why it isn’t worth it because then you don’t get a goodnight…but I digress) So amidst all of that, I have since managed to pull myself back together, taken a few deep breaths, and now reflect back on a good moment that I had yesterday.
I went out to dinner and hung out with Mama Leo last night, which was really fun! I hadn’t seen her in almost 2 weeks and had not yet had a chance to catch up with her about her vacation in Grenada. We ate, she showed me TONS of pictures, she told me some stories… just all in all a good time!
The moment to which I am referring however, actually took place before dinner. I was early heading to meet her at Wilson’s Pub, so I decided to take a small detour to the Grotto at St. Marys on my way. I’ve only been to the Grotto once or twice, but it is a really special place to Nick, and not to mention absolutely gorgeous.. so I decided to stop. I have this bad habit of when life gets really crazy, I run around and besides when I am laying in bed at night, rarely take a moment to just stop and give thanks for everything I have. So that is what I did. It was awesome. I felt this wonderful calming sensations come over me and this feeling of “everything is going to be okay.”
I’ve been freaking out over money, and at my wits end with my field placement and school, and missing Nick so much, that at times over the past month I have literally felt like I was barely holding on by a thread. But yesterday, I got the reassurance that I needed. I did not stay long, but in those few moments I felt more refreshed than I had felt in days.. maybe even weeks. It also helped me feel closer to Nick. He loves the Grotto and it’s a place that he has gone to for comfort or prayer in the past.
After my visit to the Grotto, like I said I had dinner with Mama Leo. At one point she brought up all the bugs and was like “Linds are you sure you’re going to like living there? It’s great for a vacation, but you might go stir crazy being there for that long!” I laughed, and having not been there, I could not totally disagree. But all that aside, I assured her I will be just fine in Grenada. And I think by the end of our conversation… she only thought I was half crazy!
The thing is, it may not be the easiest time of my life living on that island while my man studies his butt off going to medschool, but I know, without a doubt that that is where I belong. I am not looking for easy. He is my best friend and my better half. I’d rather do hard with him, and look back years from now and laugh over it, than do easy by myself. Besides, anything without him is much harder, than a year and a half with him in Grenada. Oddly enough, moving to be with him is the easiest decision I’ve ever made… even knowing that it isn’t going to be all ice cream and sprinkles. God has a plan, and God blessed me with him. And for that, I am thankful everyday <3
It has just been one of those days where nothing seems to go right. School has been stressing me out and I feel like I just do not have the energy or motivation to deal with it. My classes are very needy this semester, with something due every class and high maintenance professors who appear to be very hard to please… sigh, senioritis much??
Nick has an exam tomorrow in bioethics. He’s been studying his butt off all day for it and I am sure he is going to kick butt. As a result of said exam however, I did not get to chat with him in person much today. Normally, I handle these days really well, and I am understanding, all is good, it’s whatever. He is afterall in medical school!
Today, unfortunately that was not the case. I got snippy with him. Yes, even though I say over and over that I cherish the little time I have with him and appreciate it and all that jazz… like I said, today, has not been my day. I think it is the perfect example of just having too much. He should not be the one I take it out on, but ladies, some things never change… even with him in Grenada I can still get snippy with him because I grumpy. To make it worse, I want him to be here and make it better but he isn’t. Pathetic really. Again, it has been that sort of day.
So amidst my freakout and after huffing and puffing and having Skype stop working so I didn’t even get a goodbye (reason 85942084 why I hate being upset with him and why it isn’t worth it because then you don’t get a goodnight…but I digress) So amidst all of that, I have since managed to pull myself back together, taken a few deep breaths, and now reflect back on a good moment that I had yesterday.
I went out to dinner and hung out with Mama Leo last night, which was really fun! I hadn’t seen her in almost 2 weeks and had not yet had a chance to catch up with her about her vacation in Grenada. We ate, she showed me TONS of pictures, she told me some stories… just all in all a good time!
The moment to which I am referring however, actually took place before dinner. I was early heading to meet her at Wilson’s Pub, so I decided to take a small detour to the Grotto at St. Marys on my way. I’ve only been to the Grotto once or twice, but it is a really special place to Nick, and not to mention absolutely gorgeous.. so I decided to stop. I have this bad habit of when life gets really crazy, I run around and besides when I am laying in bed at night, rarely take a moment to just stop and give thanks for everything I have. So that is what I did. It was awesome. I felt this wonderful calming sensations come over me and this feeling of “everything is going to be okay.”
I’ve been freaking out over money, and at my wits end with my field placement and school, and missing Nick so much, that at times over the past month I have literally felt like I was barely holding on by a thread. But yesterday, I got the reassurance that I needed. I did not stay long, but in those few moments I felt more refreshed than I had felt in days.. maybe even weeks. It also helped me feel closer to Nick. He loves the Grotto and it’s a place that he has gone to for comfort or prayer in the past.
After my visit to the Grotto, like I said I had dinner with Mama Leo. At one point she brought up all the bugs and was like “Linds are you sure you’re going to like living there? It’s great for a vacation, but you might go stir crazy being there for that long!” I laughed, and having not been there, I could not totally disagree. But all that aside, I assured her I will be just fine in Grenada. And I think by the end of our conversation… she only thought I was half crazy!
The thing is, it may not be the easiest time of my life living on that island while my man studies his butt off going to medschool, but I know, without a doubt that that is where I belong. I am not looking for easy. He is my best friend and my better half. I’d rather do hard with him, and look back years from now and laugh over it, than do easy by myself. Besides, anything without him is much harder, than a year and a half with him in Grenada. Oddly enough, moving to be with him is the easiest decision I’ve ever made… even knowing that it isn’t going to be all ice cream and sprinkles. God has a plan, and God blessed me with him. And for that, I am thankful everyday <3
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